


Who.er.What I did this summer

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-22
Updated: 2003-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1633157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story by Traykor</p><p>Hermione comes up with an interesting way of getting Harry's mind off his troubles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who.er.What I did this summer

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sandy Justine

 

 

Who...er...What I did this summer  
Note: My Yuletide assignment's first choice (and the only one of the choices in a fandom I put down) involved a pairing I refuse to write, so this was the second choice. Warnings: I've never written Harry Potter before. Takes place after book five. And I don't know British slang, so it's American. Sorry.  
 

* * *

  
Something had to be done about Harry.

Hermione decided this after her last letter from him--it was upbeat, but she could hear the despair in it.  
Too much had happened to Harry in the last year--in his life, really. The problem was what to do about  
him? Uncertain and questioning, Hermione did what she always did, she researched it.  
A trip to the library later, and Hermione returned home with an armful of books on psychology and trauma.  
Heavy reading for someone of sixteen, but this was Hermione. She settled down on her bed for a few hours.  
More than a few hours later Hermione was even more certain that something had to be done about Harry.  
None of the adults in his life seemed concerned with helping him overcome his trauma and deal with the  
events of the past year--especially the death of Sirius. She also knew that there was little she could do to  
help him on her own. Perhaps with Ron's help....? She filed the idea away to ponder for later in the  
summer, when the three of them would be together. In the meantime, she would keep reading. Her  
ponderings on the matter were interrupted by a phone call from some old friends from elementary school.  
Thinking that some time with muggles would get her mind off the troubles of the return of Voldemort and  
Harry's mental trauma, Hermione agreed to go shopping with them.  
Which is how she came to be in a store of questionable repute with three giggling and blushing teens. It  
was a small store tucked away on the third floor of a non-descript building, bearing the tasteful title of  
"Eve's Garden".

"Are we even old enough to be in here?" Hermione wondered aloud as she caught sight of the interior:  
there were sections of mechanical `toys', videos, leather, and an entire section of items that Hermione did  
not want to contemplate the uses for.

"Quiet!" one of the others scolded, "They don't notice here if you don't flaunt your age." While her friends  
looked over a large selection of devices molded to look like a certain part of the male anatomy--or rather  
some woman's fantasy of such--Hermione headed for the equally large selection of books. There were  
books on just about every aspect of human sexuality--from dry academic sociological books to graphic  
how to manuals. Opening one interesting volume on the psychology of sex, Hermione began to read.  
She stayed engrossed in the book until her friends decided it was time to go. She ended up buying the book.  
She finally had an idea of just what Harry needed.  
It was a week later when Hermione joined Ron at the Burrow, her head full of ideas on just what needed to  
be done. The first thing was to get Ron to go along with it. Not that she thought that would be too hard, as  
Ron had a tendency to go along with anything once she made his eyes glaze over with a suitably  
convoluted string of fuzzy logic and prevarication. Ron was a loyal, true friend, but sometimes he was a bit  
slow on the uptake. `Besides,' she thought wickedly `If this doesn't make it clear I'm a girl, I don't know  
what will.'

Once she had Ron safely alone upstairs, she laid out her plan.  
"So really, what Harry needs is to get laid." She stated.  
"What!" Ron sputtered. "That's the plan? Get Harry laid? What makes that a good idea?"  
"Well, I've been reading and I think that a friendly encounter of mutual gratification will go a long way  
toward aiding Harry in his psychological adjustment to the difficulties of adolescent development coupled  
with depression and survivor's guilt."

"They have books about this?" Ron wondered.  
"You'd be surprised what they have books about." She answered, thinking `Come on Ron, go along with  
it.'

It all made some sense, Ron thought, although he partly felt it shouldn't. But if Hermione thought it was a  
good idea...

"And anyway," She continued, "First times are generally dreadful, all the books say so, so wouldn't it be  
better if we did it together, rather than with someone we're trying to impress?"  
"TOGETHER?!" Ron sputtered "You want US, as in Both of us? To...to..?"  
"Have sex with Harry." She answered bluntly. "Yes, it's the perfect plan really. It will get Harry's mind  
off of everything, and it sounds like loads of fun."  
"But why does it have to be us?" Ron whined. Wait. Sex...with Hermione...maybe this wasn't such a bad  
idea. His mind cheerfully ignored the fact that Harry would be there too.  
"Well who else can we trust? We're his best friends. If it's all three of us it won't be awkward, they way it  
would be if it were just me. We can keep it between friends."  
"One problem: where are we going to do this? I mean, it's not like we could just...have se..se...sex here."  
"I've already thought of that." Hermione answered, "Here's the plan:"  
Ron wondered later who he could ask for advice. Not Charlie, who was liable to inform his mother, nor  
Percy, who no one was talking to, and certainly not Fred and George, who were liable to lie outright in an  
effort to have some fun at his expense. That left Bill. Who was off on a mission for Dumbledore.  
Damn. He'd just have to go along with Hermione then.  
Harry, upon his arrival at the Burrow, was informed that he would be spending the final part of the summer  
at the Leaky Cauldron.

"We've decided to rent a pair of rooms and spend a proper few days in London." Hermione said. "We can  
visit Fred and George, go shopping, and have a bit of fun." Harry gave them both a glum look.  
"I don't know." He protested half-heatedly. Hermione elbowed Ron.  
"Come on Harry, you need a bit of fun." Ron smiled at his friend and tried very hard not to think about his  
other best friend's plans for one of those rooms. Which, of course, meant his sixteen year-old mind  
proceeded to play a slideshow of possibilities. If Ron were to be perfectly honest with himself, the fact that  
Harry would be there as well was part of the intrigue. As it was, his mind just continued to ignore it.  
Selective memories were a wonderful thing.

It was thus that the three friends settled into a pair of rooms above the Leaky Cauldron at the start of the last week before the fall term of their sixth year. Harry never knew what hit him. 


End file.
